Class today was, as expected, fantastic despite my reluctance to leave the warmth and comfort of my bed this morning. And I got some much-needed clarification on the nature of sociology itself.
See, my mistake before was assuming too personal a relation to the study. Sociology isn't a way of understanding any individual; sociology doesn't particularly care about the individual. Sociology wants to understand societies and the way they move, the social constructions they invent and the realities they inhabit. This is something I need to remember, because my fascination lies more in examining the specific... but the grand scheme is just as interesting, so why not?
I never thought I was interested in politics or economics or- well. Anything large and unwieldly that I feel unable to have any real impact on unless I dedicate my life to it, and even then it would be a long shot. I had long ago written it off as boring and depressing and not something I felt like dedicating my mental capacity to.
But this is part of what I'm missing, isn't it? How can I possibly hope to understand the individual- or the species as a whole- when I do not understand the fundamental institutions that govern and guide the behaviour of the individual? Of the society that the individual roams through?
My views have thus far been incredibly culturally skewed; I'm more American than I ever realized. I guess I always knew that my thoughts and belief systems were based on the culture I was brought up in, but I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to overcome that. The very things that fascinate me are a direct result of the culture I inhabit! I realized some years ago that I would always, always be coming from a subjective point of view; that there can be no absolute objectivity, because I can't not be human. I am able to distance myself from my own beliefs and see with what I believe is relative objectivity, to play the Devil's Advocate quite compellingly against myself to try to discern more objective truths... I can also accept that I don't understand things as fully as I wish I could, but all I can do is try.
... ever get the feeling you write like an asshole? I am sounding REALLY egotistical, but whenever I write about this stuff, I feel the need to pull out all the fancy verbiage I pick up in books and in classes. All the things I wish I could say day to day, but that never occurs to my brain to produce. I guess it's just as well. I sound like an asshole.
Anyway, I am thinking I have a major now. Maybe not sociology specifically- I'm too interested in the individual to dedicate myself solely to understanding society. But Social Sciences. I mean, that IS a degree, isn't it? I figure it can encompass all the things I am most interested in- psychology, sociology, anthropology, history, religion, philosophy, even linguistics... unless I'm way off my mark, isn't social science the study of what makes people?
With a degree like that, I could go into a field I am actually interested in- social work, criminal justice, teaching, ESL(?), or possibly research stuff. I don't know. I keep trying to tell myself not to take the classes I'm interested in because they aren't practical. But maybe just HAVING a degree in SOMETHING will be enough for me to escape this ten dollar an hour bracket.
Someday, I won't be working in a call center repeating the same things over and over again. I have no illusions that I am capable of being a business owner, but I know I can do something that doesn't make me feel like a miserable cog in a machine, just spinning endlessly and going nowhere.
No comments:
Post a Comment